The thing about being sober now, is that it's difficult to maintain an attention span, focus and achieve clarity. When I was self medicating, the fog within my mind seemed to go away for the first time in my life and my dad and I had talked about this over the years and we had came to the conclusion that we most likely had ADD / ADHD . People will tell me that I should see a doctor or counselor for this, and I have brought it up to them before but it appeared to me that they more or less brushed the issue underneath the rug and didnt seem to take me seriously. My frustration is that, if I have ADD / ADHD , I'd like to think doctors and counselors would prefer a person to take meds prescribed to them to solve the issue, rather than self medicating in ways that are far from correct or healthy. It is also more than frustrating and also depressing that my cure was the self medicating habits. I can no longer process my thoughts and mind with ease or understanding like i could before, everything is scattered within my mind since being sober and I feel like I would be judged or doubted or misunderstood if tried to bring it up to a doctor or counselor again. Anyhow, the clarity of mind was one of the major parts of my addiction and habits. I want to be sober, but I wish I could fix my mind properly without going back to anything. That's where I fell off the earth, is when I was able to achieve focus, organization and clarity and fast thought processes formed with ease, because after all the years of my life, I could actually think like a normal healthy human and cure the ADD / ADHD. Idk. I just want to be able to have a well mind with organized thinking. 😐 people who do not have ADD / ADHD dont completely understand the fog, because they dont experience it like a person who does have it. All I want to do is just fix my mind and achieve the clarity and an organized mind. Sigh .
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